The Power Behind the Throne
I was in the barber shop last week and picked up the July issue of Black Enterprise while I waited. I looked forward to learning about the latest in black business and entrepreneurship. As usual, I paused to get some context for the issue by scanning the letters from the publisher and president.
I didn’t make it any further.
The letters that Earl Graves Sr. and Butch Graves wrote were moving, heart-felt, sincere, stirring, intense and personal love letters to their wife and mother. Barbara Graves passed in May of this year, and while I’d paused to say a short prayer for her and her family when I learned of her death, it was now clear that I hadn’t stopped long enough!
I’d met Mrs. Graves on a couple of occasions, and spent time with others in her family several times over the years, but it’s not likely that any of those moments were memorable enough to permit any of the Graves clan to pick me out of a lineup. Nevertheless, I could envision, as though I was there, the proud, manicured, public personas of the writers withering; and the dripping tears on the written pages causing the ink from their Mont Blanc fountain pens to smear as if finishing the cry.
These letters shone a bright light on the fact that Barbara Graves was the heart of her family and, for those of us who didn’t know, or who hadn’t stopped to consider it, she was also, as Mr. Graves Sr. put it, “the secret weapon” for Black Enterprise. Mrs. Graves was the power behind the throne.
Let’s not forget that when Mr. Graves began B.E. in 1970, his effort was risky and ground-breaking. Black Enterprise was born out of a vision – a capitalistic concept to be sure, but also a vision for the uplift and empowerment of a people. That made it a bold and grand ideal that was bigger and far more treacherous than any of the ideas that most entrepreneurs will ever attempt. And Mr. Graves makes it clear that he never could have done it without her – he couldn’t have done it alone.
Neither can you. Neither can I.
So, as I sat in the barber’s chair, my mind was diverted to consider the people who encourage me to dream bigger dreams; and to those who remind me that I do what I do for the good of my family, but even more importantly for the uplift of others. At the top of that list of people must be my own bride, Crystal, who while often silent, is paying more attention than I think and is usually more than prepared to offer considered advice or constructive criticism just when I need it most – and whether or not I like what she has to say. On the conservative side by nature, she is nevertheless quick to double down and make the bet that I’ll make the right decisions when circumstances are their toughest.
And there are just a few others –friends, family and partners – who make it clear that they are in the entrepreneurial fight with me. This kind of support comes in many forms. These people make referrals, work late hours, don’t let balls drop, buy the first round of drinks, encourage me not to quit when the fight is just, or just call to check in from time to time – all intended to let me know that they are doing more than watching from the cheap seats.
Some stay in the picture for a season and others for a lifetime, but what a gift these people are. Entrepreneurship is hard work. #DBTE can be exhausting! There are days when you get lost or are tempted to seek an easier path. But these folks will have none of it. They know who you really are, they know what you are called to do, and they even own a piece of your vision. For them, as it is for you, failure is not an option.
Who are those people who are shoulder-to-shoulder with you on your entrepreneurial journey?
Achieving your dreams is not easy, and you are uniquely qualified to make them come true, but no one can overcome successive obstacles and find enduring and impactful success alone. If you don’t have a “secret weapon” then find one. If you do, then hang on to it, protect it, and find a way to express your appreciation.
In fact, the next time you find yourself on the couch at the salon or in the waiting area of the tonsorial parlor and pick up a magazine – pause for a moment or two and say a prayer for Mrs. Graves and the Graves family… and send one up in thanks for the people in your life who really are the power behind the throne.
