Year: 2009

Just give me the…

Ok, wait. I admit it. I’m GUILTY!

I am a frequent business traveler who is time challenged. If I am where I’m supposed to be at the right time, just consider it a coincedence. No, I can’t even read a clock – not even that nice one that is attached to my wrist. Apparently, I can’t read the time on my filght itinerary either. (I’m exaggerating, but only slightly.)

So, this morning I arrived at the airport at 8:10 for my 8:45 flight. I thought that I was doing well because I was flying Delta, which meant – at that time of day – that there was a good chance the flight would be going out from the T Gates or the A Concourse, I’ve got some sort of elite status so getting through security would be a breeze, and I had no bags to check. Altogether this meant that I had plenty of time to stroll to the gate – except that the flight was actually leaving at 8:25!

Still not concerned, I found a check-in kiosk and punched in my frequent flyer number to print a boarding pass. The computer, which must have been running on a processor made a decade ago, took its time telling me that it was too late to check in for my flight. How could that be? The flight wasn’t leaving for 15 minutes.

Undeterred, I found a ticket agent, we’ll call him Steve, and asked him to print the boarding pass so that I could make a run for it. AT THIS POINT, Steve explained that there was no way that I could make the flight AND thought that I needed to be reminded of the airlines policies about being checked in 30 minutes before flight time and to be at the gate at least 10 minutes before departure AND wanted to describe how the TSA may not even let me through security. (tick, tock… tick, tock)
I kept my cool – because lil’ Stevie still had not given me the boarding pass yet. BUT, is it really possible that this fella thought that I didn’t know these things already?

Steven – let me help you out a little bit.
I am a Type A personality. I am used to getting things done. That’s who I am. When you tell me that it can’t be done, that only makes me more determined to get it done. Just to prove YOU wrong. If I gave up every time someone told me that I was “too late to make it” or “you can’t do it” or “I think that you should just wait until later” then I wouldn’t have gotten very far in my life. Furthermore, in a more than 20 year career I have missed exactly THREE flights. Guess how often I’ve been running a little late? Succeeding requires a little bit of talent, but a lot of tenacity.

Additionally, I’m not alone. There are lots of road warriors just like me, wearing Allen Edmonds loafers, sporting a buttoned down Ralph Lauren shirt and blue blazer (with a white hanky in the pocket) and carrying a Dell laptop. This ain’t a game Stevie! We aren’t going on vacation. We are pro’s, man – and we know how to get this done. (Well, most of the time anyway.)

So Steve, here go the tip: Just give me the damn boarding pass!

The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attainted by sudden flight,
But they, while there companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.

Henry Longfellow’s words from The Ladder of St. Augustine ring clearly in my mind – not beacuse of an impactful English literature class, but because my grandfather recited these words to me more than 10 years ago as we discussed my career ambitions.

Late this particular December evening this poem came to mind as I made a late night drive from Nashville to Atlanta. Following a full day of strategy, finance, sales and civic engagement, I needed to make the 4 hour drive east on I-24 over Monteagle to Chattanooga, then south on I-75 and west on I-285 to approach home.

I’d told the boys that I’d be home before school the next morning, but had hoped to catch them before they went to bed. There was work left undone in Nashville, which meant an early start by phone the next morning. No doubt, my late night drive meant that, I would be tired and make for poor company for at least part of the weekend coming. This was one of those situations where all that I was certain of was that despite my best efforts, I would please absolutely no one.

Modern families seem to demand more of fathers (and of mothers) than previous generations. On the one hand, good dads are expected to go to work to put a roof overhead, coach soccer, make it to PTA, take the wife out on Friday, give her some “me time” on Saturday and be at church on Sunday. Not a complaint, but a priveledge.

On the other hand, I am who I am because I insist on giving the best I can to all with whom I work with, work for and serve – chief among them, my family. The best of my intellect and experience at the office, the best of my service to my community and the best of my attention, affection and lifesytle to my family. Said differently, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do!

This is the balancing act of modern manhood.

My grandfather’s words, and Longfellow’s, keep me “toiling upward in the night.” So no complaints as I hop off the highway and make the final turn towards home. All smiles as I kiss the sleeping angels and climb into a warm bed. The next morning will come too fast.

When I finished business school at UNC, more than 15 years ago, I got a great job with one of the Big 6 accounting firms, moved back to my hometown of Washington DC, bought a new home and my wife a new BMW. Life was good!

Late on Monday night, at halftime of the football game, I got a call from my dad. I was relaxing as I stretched out on the couch and was surprised and happy to hear from him. So I said, “Dad, what’s the word!” When he responded with “Jeff had a stroke;” I sat up straight, muted the TV and said “What!”

That short phone call instantly changed plans for the week. Jeff and I are the best of friends. We grew up together in DC, causing all kinds of trouble since we met at church when we were 9 years old, through adolescence – evading the police and chasing girls, bachelor parties, go-carts, golf courses, children and baby blessings… You can imagine that the stories are endless. So, are hospital visits next on the list of adventures in friendship? Wow! If so, at the age of 40, I sure don’t like starting this phase so soon. There’s a lot more hell yet to raise!

Yet, after the surprise began to settle and I began to think of the plans that I may need to change, a few lessons came to mind.

 

• • The value of a supportive spouse can’t be measured. I went upstairs when I hung up the phone to share this news with Crystal. Out of her sleep, she cleared her throat and, after she asked if Jeff was OK, said “Are you going to North Carolina in the morning?” While, I was thinking that this was the right thing, I hesitated because it would mean leaving home two days earlier than an already scheduled trip. I travel a lot as it is, so the time that I am able to spend at home is important to all of us. But she didn’t pause, she knew that it was the right thing to do, and encouraged me to do it.

 

• •  The emotion that kids show is sincere. Henry IV came in to visit on Tuesday morning before school, and I told him that Uncle Jeff was in the hospital. Immediately, tears came to his eyes. I explained how it happened and that he was going to be OK. I also explained that I was going to make sure that he was getting the care that he needed, and that this is the kind of thing that friends do for one another. He understood and the tears dried up. Later that day he made it clear to his mother that he was still concerned and wanted to talk to Uncle Jeff to make sure that all was well. Thankfully we were able to make that happen, so that he would go to bed without more tears. This sincerity is an undervalued charecter trait that we should all strive for.

 

• • Our health is urgent and must be protected! Fortunately Jeff’s stroke was mild. It was most likely brought on by inattention to diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Not to mention, a need to eat better and excercise. Imagine that! (The doctor told him that he should stay away from anything white except her and cauliflower! Classic!) I think that Jeff considers his visit to a North Carolina hospital to be a pretty significant shot across the bow. He will make a full and speedy recovery, and has the chance to make significant adjustments to his lifestyle so that he can live a long and healthy life.

 

The love and support of friends and family make a big difference in our lives, but they won’t last us very long unless we fiercely protect our health. These things are important because tomorrow is not… promised!